Kill me please.

The stranger walked in slowly dragging an oversized blade.
Intrigued, I watched. Calm and un-threatened I lean across and continue to eat my M&M's. The peanut type. I seem to be keen on these lately.
I am unable to see the stranger's face. It is covered by hood and is not facing me.
The stranger pauses as if 'he' was not sure what was next and what he was doing there. But that blade! The blade just shy of a small sword, so shiny. It had purpose.
With a crunch of a peanut the stranger's head jerks left as he then realises I am in the room.
"Are you here to steal life or possession?" I ask.
The stranger remains quite for a moment... But then replies

"If i'm not here to kill you, I'm here to kill me"

Flyon

What do I owe 'reality'?
The child laughs as I am funny. And free to fool.
I'll take the head ache
I'll take the cost
And now I have grown

- sleeps

Sell me

I need to share my emotions
Not sell them

Kaboom

I hear nothing but ambience
The acoustics of this place tells me we are all nowhere. All 1200 of us.
A transient place.
Perhaps that's why I feel so calm here.
Most seem to rush through transience.
I tend to slow to a pause.

Take me from where I was but hold me before I get where I'm going

- Sleeps

The alcohol

It ain't so bad if it makes me feel love.
If it removes the superficial layer of people.
If it strikes me with ideas of connection and demands the expression of affection.
It can't be so bad if it removes from memory those who are of no consequence yet still keeps me playful and polite.
It's not so bad if it treats me bad if I abuse it or people in its name.
How dare I assume its place in front of me, a substance I control.
It ain't so bad... But maybe I am.

- Sleeps

In between moments

Determined not to allow us to die I think past the end back to the moments in between times we thought were all.
I remember the first time I stayed around your place. Your father next door drunk falling asleep. A usual thing for you but was foreign to me, it was drugs and other vices I was accustomed to. But in retrospect it was all escapism and subtle despair.
But in your room, two lovers embracing the excitement of new feelings and experiences.
The dark poetry written on the wall would have been insight if it were not for my youthful arrogance.
I was surprised you let me in. But then girls love arse holes. I was just one with a sense of humour and a way with written word.
Your naked body was young and beautiful, the imperfections making you so much more perfect.
We took to the floor since your bed would make so much noise with movement.
Lite milk skin, after time began to quiver with both cold and ecstasy. I took you back to bed to wrap you in blanket and rub you with the warmth of friction.
As you drifted I starred into the half lit room exposing the shadows of your mind to which mine asked questions of if I could make things right or at least better for you.
I would have liked to have come to a conclusion but with your demons came a reflection of mine... And as messed up as it sounds it felt I could call out to the corner of the room to then hear a deep growl of a whisper speaking back at me to test my courage and sincerity.

Days later you had bruises on your back which looked as though you had been abused and nearly freaked out wanting to kill whoever touched you... Until you explained it was me and the time we had your back to the floor.
You smiled at me. Reminding me that some bruises we're proud to own.

- Sleeps

Rot

Let my body rot while I pray
Let my soul die while I thank
I am here to worship (and suffer) while painters observe me
Such weight of sadness and regret I use to be so joyful yet still have made all of my choices to date
I by no means feel the gods are beneath me... My old age has simply shown me the cruel and selfish nature of them.
The god of gods a rapist and hypocrite
Yet strangely I would give an evening to sit with him and discuss his deeper reasoning. If he had any.

-Sleeps

My Dear

My dear
Don't be so cross dear
A sentimental burn dear
A scar wont hurt

Yes dear
No faith placed in a cross here
I'm loving all the time here
Even if I'm bored

Soft clear sky night blue
Scream at moon

Sometimes hurt / Don't be so cross

My dear
Will you move near?
I can't stand the beer just want to be with you

But you don't want me here
You don't need me near
So I sleep until it's clear that I no longer feel.

- sleeps

What happened

What happened to you?
YOU use to have things to say
Now you pass on other people's quirky quotes and 'thoughts'
Memes that lack meaning
You use to mean something
Now you're a faff distributor
We miss you
I miss you
The you who you once were
Of thought
Of substance
You use to have things to say
You use to mean something
The you who use to challenge me
The you who use to inspire me
Who use to remind me to be me
The me of thought
The me of substance
I miss that you
As I now miss that me

What happened to you
What happened to us?

- Sleeps

Emotion as ocean

You're your soul, and the ocean is your emotion.
Relax, collected emotion allows for calm, still waters making the swim easy
With heightened emotion, conditions change and with wind comes turbulence.
But emotion is not bad nor the enemy as with swell comes waves of life.
Moments of surf and adventure, navigating our way above or below sea level to find equilibrium through disarray.
And it is disarray.
We were not prepared for these triggers.
These ripples of effect, affecting us through reflected waves and superposition.
We all begin by fighting the waves and crashing against them, never having the time or energy to question where the waves come from or what other ways there are to deal with them... Until one day you are broken and sink.
That last wave was too much and neither logic nor survival instinct has any reason to help you any further...
Relax. It's passed. There is nothing of consequence and there is nothing now to fear. It's dark and breathing is no longer a concern...
But then just before you are totally lost the swell calms. You begin to rise and float.
You begin to suspect your level of influence over this ocean, which now seems more like a bay.
Through time even waves caused by others you find are not totally foreign.

Life's different now and you have even learnt navigate the ways with others. Some having more influence on your conditions than others.

Sometimes you get distracted but you hope you don't forget what you've learnt to maybe pass on what you've found.
It excites you to think of where they could then navigate to (next).

- Sleeps