To watch you struggle
To poke your cuts
To mock and make fun
... With you not at you
I'm not a monster
But I'm not going to pick you up when I know you can
I'll be there to hug you when up
I'll be there to take your hand to dance or to show you how
Be there on late night calls
Anything you need to be great... Be better
But not aid you in being weak and dependent
- sleeps
I chose my past
As it's all I know
This place would be my home for the evening if I were with friends
But friends are rare these days
Just acquaintances.
So I travel and work and travel and stay late. I don't even reach out to old friends
So here I am alone pretending I could have a life experience if I just had another drink... And another.
Pretty faces don't even change things these days.
Perhaps that's a totally good thing
Instead I find solus in graphic novels and anything geek
And just like that I found myself in this bar. Like, really found myself.
I smile at the possible reason I could have to be here.
Everything is recon.
And you bathe me in lust.
The night spoke to me through deep tones and I became still
Ow stillness, how I have missed you
And how you have missed me...
Is there no other who brings such peace to you?
Do you miss me when I am distracted with noise?
Do you reach for me in dark hours?
Do you envy the calculated insanity?
I missed you.
And like a solar system who lost its gravity I drifted (from sun)
into dark
Into distance
Imploding through my own weight
... What instead would send me to super nova... Or better yet...
Simple orbit.
- sleeps
The only dimension in which I move is through time...
As space has nothing for me...
And illusion fills the gaps.
What's wrong with us that we can't find happiness?
What balance is there?
Between what do we find peace?
Aggression. Behave. Win. For now.
What does it say for civilisation when the only release we feel is when losing our minds. Regressing back to simple conundrum's like will that door swallow me whole?
An evening past, my only connection with you. An evening you left me so full but empty inside.
An evening you sent me away.
These days too polite to wonder the streets alone, I stay emotionally shackled to those whom I care... But who do not inspire.
The cool air capture softly spoken excitement and tall buildings hug our walks.
Adventurous but calm, the night came from within
I thought of you and wondered what you would mean if I were not me
We talked history and discussed our behaviors
My admiration grew for you, my friend.
As so few could put me in my place and feel good to apologies.
And I do apologies.
You knock me down and show me there's more to you, for which I find there is now more to me.
Thank you.
- sleeps
Today is a perfect day for the morning after.
Yesterday we did not see love as a box to fill.
Yesterday we celebrated love for the sake of love by expressing love.
My friend of love, for whom I love
You wrap my hand with yours
My free hand strokes your hair
And free heart kisses you gently
My chest, a calm storm, electric with life, dances with playful games of blueberries
Please don't bury me.
I wish to stay but the world needs me to leave
But then the end does not matter, for death is offered with life.
- sleeps
