Moon

Moon. You are not full.
But still so bright.
Awake with me at these hours (of night)
A companion so far away
But orbiting my world
Steadily watching over me and those I love as we all sleep.
Cloud. You obscure the twilight.
A period of obscurity, ambiguity and gradual decline
A traveling Samaritan you deliver somber to the soul, rain to the fires and water for seeds to grow
Goodnight. Be all you are and that/so you can be.
Until dawn comes to take away our dreams, I surrender to Morpheus, the shaper of form.

You are still, in this place
Moon. Cloud. Dream. Human.

- Sleeps

Invite

(You) invite me in

I want to fall to my knees and place my forehead to the ground in respect

The nerves. The pulse. The death of me.

But we are surrounded

But you are not here

But I do not exist

I keep composed on the surface. I’m good at that.

But it begins to kill me inside and I begin to crack when I drink.

Thank god I’m in another country

Thank god you can’t listen

When did a floating soul become so heavy?

Life was fun when I hated myself

The lights are bright but I’ve seen these signs before… And I know I’m about to be rejected.

By her. By me.

And maybe I should be

Piece of shit like me. Robot. Selfish.

What happens out there, kills in here

Silly boy. Big mouth.

Dreams. No feet.

Believing in… just believing.

I wish I could meet me back when I was that clown

I wonder if I would relate

To me in the past

To me in the future

Would I be my favourite drinking buddy?

Where are those people now?

I love losing count of all those I have met

No hate for one of them, just positive interaction

Guess I knew answers are impossible if you can’t formulate or articulate your questions

So I didn’t ask questions & I laughed at your answers

A fucking lie like you trying to tell a burning soul like me. How dare you.

This anger and disdain, is it toward you or toward me?

Like religions get stuck on the metaphor, am I getting stuck on something similar?

I’m empty as all that I am pours out into words

Words I leave as clues

Clues across the globe. Across the times

And while you search for me I am busy slowly dying

The ultimate paradox I am so proud to have constructed

- Sleeps

Silly boy

It must have been the outfit
Maybe the confidence and her capable nature
No, must have been his boy eyes seeing things
Must have been that moment when she didn’t back away at a given statement
Must have been that strange spark of joy and energy that came from nowhere
Must have been like her he didn’t feel fulfilled by casual sex, instead found the connection was most exciting
Maybe it was her leaning on him at the bar
The taxi ride
The topics of conversation that no one else could understand
The phone calls
The looks
The...
Must have been a thousand things which finally made him lean in and attempt to kiss her
But she turned  her face away as she didn’t want to be a silly girl
This made him feel like a silly boy
Only a boy feels joy. Men have to bear it.

- Sleeps

Invite

(You) invite me in

I want to fall to my knees and place my forehead to the ground in respect

The nerves. The pulse. The death of me.

But we are surrounded

But you are not here

But I do not exist

I keep composed on the surface. I’m good at that.

But it begins to kill me inside and I begin to crack when I drink.

Thank god I’m in another country

Thanks good you can’t listen

When did a floating soul become so heavy?

Life was fun when I hated myself

The lights are bright but I’ve seen these signs before… And I know I’m about to be rejected.

By her. By me.

And maybe I should be

Piece of shit like me. Robot. Selfish.

What happens out there, kills in here

Silly boy. Big mouth.

Dreams. No feet.

Believing in… just believing.

I wish I could meet me back when I was that clown

I wonder if I would relate

To me in the past

To me in the future

Would I be my favourite drinking buddy?

Where are those people now?

I love losing count of all those I have met

No hate for one of them, just positive interaction

Guess I knew answers are impossible if you can’t formulate or articulate your questions

So I didn’t ask questions & I laughed at your answers

A fucking lie like you trying to tell a burning soul like me. How dare you.

This anger and disdain, is it toward you or toward me?

Like religions get stuck on the metaphor, am I getting stuck on something similar?

I’m empty as all that I am pours out into words

Words I leave as clues

Clues across the globe. Across the times

And while you search for me I am busy slowly dying

The ultimate paradox I am so proud to have constructed

- Sleeps

Pedestal

They look at each other
One of them just stepped off the pedestal but they’re not sure who
So they’re not sure what to say...
He kicks the pedestal over and smiles
They both laugh
She stands up the pedestal and invites him up to stand
As he proceeds to climb the pedestal, she shoves him aside and jumps up
She then strikes a pose and sticks out her tongue
After a moment of admiration she steps down and it hurts him to see.
They swap places
He poses. He pauses. He looks down and realised if she were to kick the pedestal he would fall and it would hurt too
He steps down, kicks over the pedestal and smiles
They both laugh.
After a while he then realised he is miserable
He pulls a gun to his head
Just to do it
Just to feel the cold steel
He realises she has done so too
One of them did so first but they’re not sure who
She drops and kicks away the gun and smiles
They both laugh
He  picks up her gun and invites her to use it
She is not sure if he’s serious...

The long walk

A distant wall
I try talking to it. A week passes. The home no longer stands.
I tap. I wait. I leave. I walk
Through the cool evening. I walk so slowly the people don’t realise I’m passing by
I was alone and happy
I am not alone now so sad
I think of you but hate the surface talk
I wonder which of our steps made us slip in to the depths of the lake
I wonder what changed when I saw you wet
When I heard your lone voice without it drowning through the noise of others
We could leave the kids to squabble and learn how to interact with each other
We could scream into the night
We could sit in silence
We could dry each other off slowly
... Or we could jump back in to the lake

- Sleeps

Context

The language of our soul has no concept of context.
I have found.
No intent, just resonance.
The most content and/or invigorating.
I pull these words out of context and you with them
In a time where the dominant philosophy is romanticism
Which has a higher importance than love itself
You asked me if it was enough
...
It is not
...
I’m not sure I ever intended it to be.
As I lift these words, I lift myself too out of context
To play as a soul
And as I recover mine
I realise
I miss you

- Sleeps