Science

I heard a sweeping statement, which interestingly I found really bugged me. I'm paraphrasing but along the lines of "science is found to be wrong a lot of the time".
True science is never "wrong" as it should never be positioned as "right" or "true".

A true scientist knows that one of the fundamental principles of science is:

"if a theory is successful, it does not follow that it is correct. “Consequently, theories are never empirically verifiable” (K. Popper). According to Popper, consistency is not a truth criterion, but, on the other hand, inconsistency does falsify a theory. No all-inclusive theorem, like “All swans are white” can ever be verified, not even by endless experimentation. Theories can only survive, and are only provisionally valid, for as long as they are not shown to be false by empirical reality (when a single black swan is found), and subsequently replaced by a new, better theory."

That's the beauty of science. The belief that we don't know everything so instead we hold up theories and develop amazing technologies to improve our lives until we find there's a more accurate theory and application of it.

We once thought the world was flat.
We then though Earth was the centre of the universe.
Maybe for the moment we think time is only in one direction... Who knows.

I chose scientific approach over bias opinion as I'm brave enough to be wrong. I'm excited to be wrong as it means I'll learn something in the hopes of being better off for it. Only arrogance knows everything (for sure).

There was nothing

I stopped the chit chat
The conversations about the weather
I stopped the 'how was your day'
The generic habits we call 'relationships'
And I stopped responding to all the conversations we feel is adequate 'communication'
I wanted to see if anyone noticed
To see if, when I divert the conversations, there were anything different in the out come...
I found most people were content and believed we had rapport just by having talked at me.
I found few noticed my lack of conversational investment, but in turn were content and believed we had rapport just by me giving them a top line of my day.
I wondered what would happen if I instead started to share and talk through my feelings and beliefs. My current conditions and confusion.
Understood it wouldn't be easy, no one needs that at the end of a long day or as a passing hallway conversation or cheeky catch up down the pub.
Besides we barely have a grasp on our thoughts...
Maybe instead I'll take the time I use to spend on general conversation and put it to another use... Introspection perhaps.
With all that time deep in my mind I'm bound to stumble upon some form of philosophical insight! A new calling or purpose of the soul!

... There was nothing.

Then there was Xbox... YouTube, music, writing, online shopping, Jujitsu, drumming... I stopped thinking about conversing and became happier.

In the absence of activity I found I had little friends so I turned to drink to make do with acquaintances.
In the absence of drink, I found the search for myself but had little interest.

So if you have no purpose, perhaps the only logical thing is to challenge other people's.

Children playing with Monogamy

I don't believe in monogamy.
Not that I need or want to have multiple partners... Where would i find the time and patience, lol.
But I don't necessarily feel it's the only choice or option we have and feel there something unfortunate about the shutting down and persecution of genuine love in other forms.
I feel, to an extent and as a culture, we're still infants.
You know how kids get terribly upset and cry when they can't have what they want?
That's us with broken hearts.
And how kids are unable to share and get angry at the idea when it involves their sweets or toys.
... That's us with our relationships.
"I'm going to love you and no one else and youre going to love only me, because if you love anyone else that would be too much for my ego to handle"

Imagine being able to love unconditionally
Giving the best of yourself to anyone that needs it.

Again, don't get me wrong there's a tremendous amount of value in monogamy and the deep bonds it may provide. The stability it brings when you 'belong' to someone and someone 'belongs' to you...

To belong is deep in our nature, but what if we stopped treating each other like possessions, even if in a positively intended sense?

Abyss

Distraction or depression?
Monogamy or wilderness?
Comfort or excitement?
Something new doesn't exist... Just desperate out cries of raw emotion.
Happiness is only hard if we believe we need things.
Happiness is only true if we believe we deserve it.
I'm bored.

Jit

We work the body to train the mind
Learn to fight so no one can attack
Venture the dark so we can live in light
And claw our souls if everything goes too well.

Instead of you

Seems years since i cried last
My body and emotions almost confused as to what was happening
My past and regimented mental conditioning has taken me from the sentimental boy i once was to the balanced calm, zen, some may say robot like character i am today when it comes to attempting to feel anything out side of simply 'OK'
My misfortunes had nothing on me and was proud to have the strength and composure to always be able to put them into perspective
Fundamental detachment. A monk would be proud.
I guess i've come to the subconscious belief that any misfortune or pain in my life is of little consequence since I am fundamentally meaningless. Just a small explorative part of the collective consciousness.
So here i sat in my sphere of 'fine'...
But nothing prepared me for her... Her.
Neither today nor over 15 years ago when we first met
... And to just recall when we first met.
You were almost confused as to my random comment
"Cheer up, it might never happen"... How fucking little did i know

I wish I could take on your pain
Hold your griefs while you joyfully flutter through your days
While you travel and meet new people or simple sit to eat cheese on toast
I wish I could hurt instead of you
I feel upset and angry that I am OK and you are not

Wooden paddle

It's rare to see transformation of substance within a person.
To see someone become someone
A human being
Of interests
Of personality
So many people are of a personality, but not many have personality.
I'm humbled, enlightened and encouraged by those who do... And Saj, my friend, you are one of them.
Stories of Paddle boards and promiscuity gave me such delight and joy
Not just the stories themselves, but the real life human being living them.
You've always been a positive inspiration for me.
A man of adventurous heart, endlessly discovering and protecting the joy and life you see in things.
Whether darkened corridor or sun kissed field, our souls observe, play and absorb
And whatever the outcome, ignorance has got nothing on us bro

- sleeps

I'll be there for you...

To watch you struggle
To poke your cuts
To mock and make fun
... With you not at you
I'm not a monster
But I'm not going to pick you up when I know you can
I'll be there to hug you when up
I'll be there to take your hand to dance or to show you how
Be there on late night calls
Anything you need to be great... Be better
But not aid you in being weak and dependent

- sleeps

Simple.orbit

I chose my past
As it's all I know
This place would be my home for the evening if I were with friends
But friends are rare these days
Just acquaintances.
So I travel and work and travel and stay late. I don't even reach out to old friends
So here I am alone pretending I could have a life experience if I just had another drink... And another.
Pretty faces don't even change things these days.
Perhaps that's a totally good thing
Instead I find solus in graphic novels and anything geek
And just like that I found myself in this bar. Like, really found myself.
I smile at the possible reason I could have to be here.
Everything is recon.
And you bathe me in lust.
The night spoke to me through deep tones and I became still
Ow stillness, how I have missed you
And how you have missed me...
Is there no other who brings such peace to you?
Do you miss me when I am distracted with noise?
Do you reach for me in dark hours?
Do you envy the calculated insanity?
I missed you.
And like a solar system who lost its gravity I drifted (from sun)
into dark
Into distance
Imploding through my own weight
... What instead would send me to super nova... Or better yet...
Simple orbit.

- sleeps