Thursday, December 22, 2011

City of children

We're children in the city
It's hard spending time with you
I can never read you and always leave with others
Mini explosions of the heart set the evening but alcohol numbs the clarity.
I'm almost ashamed of myself
The rock stars hidden agenda has illuminated for a brief moment and the clarity sharpens for that second.



- Sleeps

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Hold

Hold and touch... As a requirement of the game
I'm useless and hopeless
You left w no name
I'm happy to take the wait
A film would stop moments I wonder if your moments include me.
Small questions raise large insights and I'm all in

- Sleeps

Regress and smile.

These shoes have a speed limit.
All these friends and nothing to smile for... She's not sure how to handle this stuff so locks down and can't focus.
The other half jests on sexual reference and bad behaviour.
The cleavage catching everyone's attention.
The uncomfort took me back to my teenage years yet did not lash out. I'm either more grown up or have been tamed slightly.
"everyone loves you, but no one likes you..." the comment repeating continuously in my head.
Is it that ironic and subtly intricate that it is to elude the mindful and be enjoyed by the lazy?
Regress and smile.


- Sleeps

Bot

I am a robot
I will never feel anything I sing and write about for more than an imaginary moment.

A good man is an unhappy one.


- Sleeps

Fickle

She just doesn't realise
She's going to loose me
My heart is tired and quick to harden and my interest is as fickle as...
I'd never seen him sing before
Such a shake and urgency of moment


- Sleeps

Offline

'It was good they're so in love'
The dates do not seem to come to be. Ironic really as each post notes the possible miss meet.
This technology doesn't make it easier if there's no connection which is somewhat strange to note.
Write me.
Connect me.
Forget me, please?
The simpler things shine through now. Such an excitable girl, 100 words a second I can only sit back and smirk.


- Sleeps

Monday, November 7, 2011

Bare feet

Breakfast with our feet in the ocean.
My dear friend goes under today
We swam and only touched the surface of the subject
Recognition or interest held her for a moment
We were due so had no time to explore that.
The time off work had always left me uneasy but only for a short while
We walked to wait and watched a drunk pass out in a city bar, his head cracking the tiled floor
He didn't move or breath. It was the first time I'd ever had to seriously check a pulse.
Mine was calm so helped calm hers through humour and odd requests.
She was real nice and asked kindly if I could put my flip flops back on, it would be unsafe if there were broken glass.
I'll be back if I cannot sleep to be with the off duty bar staff and to talk with you more

- Sleeps

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Date day

Oooow exciting it may be date day! Let's go for the poker dot dress and bow in hair. Stay calm don't get nervous remember he's going to be just as anxious and worried he won't be the focus of your attention. Enjoy the time together even in the very rare occasion you may not enjoy him as you can learn more about yourself and others in those situation as opposed to any other. Be conscious of his movement and behaviour but also just as mindful of yours. Don't let nerves or insecurities take you away from the sweet enjoyable beautiful person you are.


- Sleeps

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dead language

The language must be dead
The symbolism redundant
Being loved means nothing
A hug and a touch of back is all I can achieve.
So I stay close to your soft skin
But aware of circles we are in
Wanting to hold the weakness of your structure
Both our words and movement are dance.



- Sleeps

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Prep for the stars

Prep for the stars
I love myself more these days - thank you Lars.
It's a reach and stretch
It's feeling good after a beating
I have reach but no interest in harming just pretty proud and cocky he couldn't knock me down I'm too good at the counter.
The heat and hurt is what its done for and I'm less of a coward for it.
Small talk and cowardice now just leaves me w a giggle... Are lives are good so why need talk you?

In awe
In phase
In time

- Sleeps

Saturday, October 8, 2011

World cup

Lifes great I've known you
To the benefit of my happiness I would assume I know u
It's all after u
The music
The feel
The life
This isn't Uni this is who I've been and am
I'd call and u will never pick up
But at least I call
At least I felt


- Sleeps

Monday, July 18, 2011

Fair Fare

He died, she ran & i'm still stood laughing with ice in my drink
Could not remember for the life of me what remained
arranging dates while watching old DVDs, the love life had not been this exciting in years
ow what great apathy he had to toy with.
The more he drank the less urgent it seems & all the same his thoughts were too quick for them to make sense of...
Why Fall in love every 5 years when you could do so every friday night
Chuckle to yourself and only share these jokes with the taxi driver. I'll pay the extra fare if it means my quest will take me.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mids

Awake at 3am
Just like back then
I use to used the time writing music and texting friends things I usually would not.
It was dark out and people were sleeping so it was like whispering emotions and dreams without being caught.
When awake to question my words I would already be gone.
I live while you sleep and work while you wake



- Sleeps

Waiting rooms

The man reaches for "woman's health"
I could think of a thousands practical jokes I could run and laugh my ass of... But these places are very sensitive to peoples privacy.
Why am I sat here?
It's all way past faults but I gotta better myself. Tired of feeling so shit and looping around the same thoughts and "predicaments".

"Life seriously damages health"
If I am to die would I kill myself?
Would it be strength or weakness to...
Die on your own terms?

I still feel lonely and lost but is manageable and sometimes an adventure when alone.

- Sleeps

Wash away

She only really speaks with me when in-between boyfriends.
But it washes away...

Angels, you found so hard to find i guess that's the curse of being one of a kind


- Sleeps

Monday, May 23, 2011

Slow

Separate and slow down
You don't feel tired but the lack of urgency is obvious
All the moments are no longer stored for fantasy but left alone as absurd.
I enjoy the beats


- Sleeps

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Interpret

Please misunderstand me
Interpret me as you see fit
I am open and on display
Please do not confirm the interpretation it will only change
Speak of me
And through others I shall hear your heart



- Sleeps

Inbox

He sees a message in the inbox
He does not see who it is from
Limitation of the platform he's using to check
He doesn't check straight away
He likes to wait on it for 10 to 15 minutes
He imagines the message is from her.
Imagines it's that long awaited message out of the blue asking how he was and if she could speak with him, maybe come to visit and possibly even stay with him.
She never knew how she felt but maybe start slow and just hang out as mates.
She wanted to share what she couldn't with anyone else and she was open to seeing if he had come as far as he said he had.
It was the most exciting and happiest 10 to 15 minutes he'd receive but eventually had to open the message.


- Sleeps

Way too comfy

Hardly the gutter girl
I'm way too comfy
Gotta move on up the hill shed the stress of the monthly
Got no shame nor shame again
But little immbarased when without my pen
Next man remember from way back when
Use to laugh at the sparse of mans ocean
Feet now frozen what the he'll am I holding
On to
Felt like such a fool
So now I gotta change me 'cause I can't change you


- Sleeps

(life)s

She spoke with excitement listing all of the things we would encounter together: "nights out, holidays together, moving in, companionship, children..."
She then stopped, turned and looked at me to say "ow, but I hope you don't expect us to be together forever"


- Sleeps

Saturday, April 2, 2011

She's not you

She's real cool
But she's not you
I'd like to... Forget about you
She's real cool
She makes me laugh
But it won't last
'cause I like you
Shes not you
I write to... Provide a fool
You laugh at me because I like you.

- Sleeps

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Please sit

Please sit with me
I'll try. I'll try.
It's difficult for me when I like you like this.
But I'll try as I really want to.
It changes me and I'm not sure if that's good as it trips, eludes and makes fun of my intelligence and judgment.
That leaves me dizzy... But must admit also leaves a little excitement floating and radiating in my stomach.

I miss excitement. Lost with fear. Fear of loss. Or perhaps not taking risks.


- Sleeps

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tear glan

"He's at the doctors getting his tear glans checked for dehydration"
Haha cheeky cunt always had a way with words but they loved him for it. One of the few who could have you shed a tear of happiness and sadness all within the same spoken sentence.


- Sleeps

The working man

Get up in time to take your time
Never show them you'll make do
Have a purpose not just a result
Know the importance of joke, especially with others...
Show them you're more than just your role.
See your friends not just acquaintances
If you don't feel a system is efficient work to improve it
Listen to those speaking, even the assholes but make it clear your ears have very limited time for irrelevance
And always, always have the confidence to fail

Friday, February 18, 2011

Join with her

He replied "well if you're tearing my heart apart with such ease I may as well join in so it can rebuild stronger... I suppose I won't be 'myself' for a little while but can't wait to meet my new self"


- Sleeps

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Flood lit

The flood lights dump on the beach. Teenagers hug in the night's water wearing nothing but their underwear.
Could have cried the words away as smile nor character will change the status.


- Sleeps

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Drain

All that stuff is just mentally draining.
Diversity and absurd reasoning - use to think that feels best but maybe it just hurts least.
All the intake, somethings surely got to give way and all fall through.
All the 'soul searching'?
Ok fine...
But finding who you are? Who gives a shit? You could answer that in every action and decision you make even if it's not the one wished to make... That would, in turn, simply define you as a coward or a brave one with ideals.
But then there's the self destructive nature when we can(not?) have what we want even if we don't know what that is.

Why would you do that?
In some ways I'm glad it happened. The vex woke me now my first reaction is to get out there and use people for whatever I want at that time... But then how does that differ from before?
The measurement of the difference is... What?

The queen says relationships should be easy. I agree.
Mow I believe I'm out of my own way it's grand.
Give me 5 minutes you'll want to feel me again and I will never let go or let down because you are now more important than I am.