There was nothing

I stopped the chit chat
The conversations about the weather
I stopped the 'how was your day'
The generic habits we call 'relationships'
And I stopped responding to all the conversations we feel is adequate 'communication'
I wanted to see if anyone noticed
To see if, when I divert the conversations, there were anything different in the out come...
I found most people were content and believed we had rapport just by having talked at me.
I found few noticed my lack of conversational investment, but in turn were content and believed we had rapport just by me giving them a top line of my day.
I wondered what would happen if I instead started to share and talk through my feelings and beliefs. My current conditions and confusion.
Understood it wouldn't be easy, no one needs that at the end of a long day or as a passing hallway conversation or cheeky catch up down the pub.
Besides we barely have a grasp on our thoughts...
Maybe instead I'll take the time I use to spend on general conversation and put it to another use... Introspection perhaps.
With all that time deep in my mind I'm bound to stumble upon some form of philosophical insight! A new calling or purpose of the soul!

... There was nothing.

Then there was Xbox... YouTube, music, writing, online shopping, Jujitsu, drumming... I stopped thinking about conversing and became happier.

In the absence of activity I found I had little friends so I turned to drink to make do with acquaintances.
In the absence of drink, I found the search for myself but had little interest.

So if you have no purpose, perhaps the only logical thing is to challenge other people's.