I
nvite me in
I want to fall to my knees and place my forehead to the ground in respect
The nerves. The pulse. The death of me.
But we are surrounded
But you are not here
But I do not exist
I keep composed on the surface. I’m good at that.
But it begins to kill me inside and I begin to crack when I drink.
Thank god I’m in another country
Thanks good you can’t listen
When did a floating soul become so heavy?
Life was fun when I hated myself
The lights are bright but I’ve seen these signs before… And I know I’m about to be rejected.
By me.
And maybe I should be
Piece of shit like me. Robot. Selfish.
What happens out there, kills in here
Silly boy. Big mouth.
Dreams. No feet.
Believing in… just believing.
I wish I could meet me back when I was that clown
I wonder if I would relate
To me in the past
To me in the future
Would I be my favourite drinking buddy?
Where are those people now?
I love losing count of all those I have met
No hate for one of them, just positive interaction
Guess I knew answers are impossible if you can’t formulate or articulate your questions
So I didn’t ask questions & I laughed at your answers
A fucking lie like you trying to tell a burning soul like me. How dare you.
This anger and disdain, is it toward you or toward me?
Like religions get stuck on the metaphor, am I getting stuck on something similar?
I’m empty as all that I am pours out into words
Words I leave as clues
Clues across the globe. Across the times
And while you search for me I am busy slowly dying
The ultimate paradox I am so proud to have constructed
- Sleeps
