Punch drunk

It's been nice
A washed up alcoholic
Either too stupid, proud... Or enlightened to change his ways.
Ironic how those who make sense, talk worthless nonsense yet those with gems of insight can barely stay on track to finish their point.
I despise hearing of my past from others but absolutely fascinated to hear the history and personal lives of the generations above. Of those I cared about.
I know we're all just people, but to hear we are is magic.
Dying of self abuse and lonelinesses...
The only life for a failed hero.
...The only life for a saved hero.
But I'm not here to be your son
I'm not here to judge you or save you either.
You're not the first person to try reconsolidation through replacement.
But don't try it with me.
I don't need or want this bond
I'm here out of interest, an interest of those passed, an interest which is wearing thin.

Kill me please.

The stranger walked in slowly dragging an oversized blade.
Intrigued, I watched. Calm and un-threatened I lean across and continue to eat my M&M's. The peanut type. I seem to be keen on these lately.
I am unable to see the stranger's face. It is covered by hood and is not facing me.
The stranger pauses as if 'he' was not sure what was next and what he was doing there. But that blade! The blade just shy of a small sword, so shiny. It had purpose.
With a crunch of a peanut the stranger's head jerks left as he then realises I am in the room.
"Are you here to steal life or possession?" I ask.
The stranger remains quite for a moment... But then replies

"If i'm not here to kill you, I'm here to kill me"

Flyon

What do I owe 'reality'?
The child laughs as I am funny. And free to fool.
I'll take the head ache
I'll take the cost
And now I have grown

- sleeps

Sell me

I need to share my emotions
Not sell them

Kaboom

I hear nothing but ambience
The acoustics of this place tells me we are all nowhere. All 1200 of us.
A transient place.
Perhaps that's why I feel so calm here.
Most seem to rush through transience.
I tend to slow to a pause.

Take me from where I was but hold me before I get where I'm going

- Sleeps

The alcohol

It ain't so bad if it makes me feel love.
If it removes the superficial layer of people.
If it strikes me with ideas of connection and demands the expression of affection.
It can't be so bad if it removes from memory those who are of no consequence yet still keeps me playful and polite.
It's not so bad if it treats me bad if I abuse it or people in its name.
How dare I assume its place in front of me, a substance I control.
It ain't so bad... But maybe I am.

- Sleeps

In between moments

Determined not to allow us to die I think past the end back to the moments in between times we thought were all.
I remember the first time I stayed around your place. Your father next door drunk falling asleep. A usual thing for you but was foreign to me, it was drugs and other vices I was accustomed to. But in retrospect it was all escapism and subtle despair.
But in your room, two lovers embracing the excitement of new feelings and experiences.
The dark poetry written on the wall would have been insight if it were not for my youthful arrogance.
I was surprised you let me in. But then girls love arse holes. I was just one with a sense of humour and a way with written word.
Your naked body was young and beautiful, the imperfections making you so much more perfect.
We took to the floor since your bed would make so much noise with movement.
Lite milk skin, after time began to quiver with both cold and ecstasy. I took you back to bed to wrap you in blanket and rub you with the warmth of friction.
As you drifted I starred into the half lit room exposing the shadows of your mind to which mine asked questions of if I could make things right or at least better for you.
I would have liked to have come to a conclusion but with your demons came a reflection of mine... And as messed up as it sounds it felt I could call out to the corner of the room to then hear a deep growl of a whisper speaking back at me to test my courage and sincerity.

Days later you had bruises on your back which looked as though you had been abused and nearly freaked out wanting to kill whoever touched you... Until you explained it was me and the time we had your back to the floor.
You smiled at me. Reminding me that some bruises we're proud to own.

- Sleeps