Indie

Actress' love ache... Or something like that.

Ow, light

Ow, darkness of my night

Gripping me, pulling me to a place or person i can metaphorically touch

Am i looking for you or am i simply looking for me here... In this place

A waste of my time. A waste of my energy. 

I piss away my talents and my thoughts. I drink them away as they hurt and frustrate me.

For lack of clarity or use in this life

Either my articulation fails or their understanding lacks

We're back to banging pots. Back to instrumentals.

Ow, sound

When all else  fails, you soothe 

I call out, but no echo

I reach, but no touch

I grind, I roll, I work, I distract... I do not express

I mask, I squander, I pretend, I have forgotten. Who. I. Am.

--

"if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything"... Or something like that

I shall structure

I shall schedule

I shall study Henry Rollins again and sharpen my mind and body

I shall study Jordan Peterson more to help me criticise my thoughts

I shall be consistent 

I shall define objectives and time lines

I shall be strong and determined even with undermined people around me

I shall find and spend more time with people that inspire me

I shall stop with the alcohol, I shall trip instead.

I shall disassociate first to become someone once again

- Sleeps